User talk:Nord Ronnoc

Hi, welcome to Mass Effect Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User blog:SpartHawg948/An Open Letter Regarding Mass Effect: Deception page.

Be sure to check out our Style Guide and Community Guidelines to help you get started, and please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! -- Commdor (Talk) 00:46, February 1, 2012

RE: Choir
Thanks for the feedback; you made some excellent points! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've been a bit busy with work lately, but I hope to get another blog done, either here, or on Dragon Age Wiki. Or TESWiki. Or maybe even Uncharted Wiki.

--The Milkman | I always deliver. 21:22, October 24, 2012 (UTC)

the Concussive Shot can not detonate with certain biotics now..

Could you tell me your name? You forgot to sign your post. Also, fixed that sentence for you and...huh, weird. Nord Ronnoc (talk) 17:28, November 13, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry...
What can I say, I apologize for my immature behavior. I hope we can move past this.--Legionwrex (talk) 19:42, December 8, 2012 (UTC)

Your Behavior
While I have told Martolives to apologize to you for his behavior, yours was also not acceptable. I do not care what someone is doing, there is no reason to insult them. We have policies on this wiki for behavior and a zero tolerance, for anyone violating them. If this behavior on blogs continues, then action will be taken. Lancer1289 (talk) 20:35, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

Noted. Nord Ronnoc (talk) 20:40, December 9, 2012 (UTC)

your fic
I've read it all but unfortunately, I know Redemption only by its synopsis here on the wiki and I never played Fallout, therefore I am unable to follow how you tweaked the storyline to Ethan's presence or truly enjoy his personality except the obvious bad*ss comments. Probably due to this, the part I liked best is Ethan together with that Cerberus bodyguard walking away from the catfight :-) Other than that, I am only able to tell that you do possess the skill, which is hardly any news for you :P --Ygrain (talk) 15:07, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
 * I'm glad you like it, Ygrain! Anything interesting or notable, both flaw and merit, you have noticed? Also, do you have any suggestions, constructive criticisms, etc? --Nord Ronnoc (talk) 23:49, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
 * Not really, I'm afraid, as I simply lack too much background info. But perhaps you could brief me in why you chose to include Ethan? You mentioned that you switched Liara's personality to her previous less confident self - do you think that the personality change in Redemption is too abrupt (how long after Shepard's death does it take place?) and that she wouldn't be able to cope on her own?
 * Now that I think of it, there was one - minor - issue I noticed: you generally tell the story in the past tense but sometimes, when assessing the current situation, you switch into present. As far as my experience with texts goes (English is not my first language, as you are probably aware), this is not usually done - such assessments are written in past tense, as well, unless they are supposed to reflect the character's inner monologue, in which case they are graphically differentiated from the rest of the text, either by semiquotes or italics. But perhaps I'm getting it wrong. --Ygrain (talk) 05:50, December 14, 2012 (UTC)


 * I included Ethan the Courier because, well, why not? :) Just remember, much of that fic is a collaboration between me and Herr Wozzeck, so Liara's personality shift is his idea. Also, yes, the sentences that are in italics are often the characters' inner monologe. I think, according to canon, it's at least a month or so after the destruction of the Normandy SR-1, so it could be pretty recent. I hope that helps! --Nord Ronnoc (talk) 09:31, December 14, 2012 (UTC)


 * Given the short time period, Liara should really be closer to her ME1 personality than the LotSB bad*ssery. I was just curious about Ethan because, you know, to tell the truth, I'm not much into crossovers.
 * As for the inner monologue, that's what sort of confused me - you don't have those present tense sentences in italics, so I wasn't sure what to make out of it. - But as I have said, other than that, a piece of skilled writing :-) --Ygrain (talk) 18:19, December 14, 2012 (UTC)

OK, I'm also interested in reading it now. Unfortunately, my knowledge of either Redemption or Fallout is the same as Ygrain's, but I hope that I can still provide useful feedback. Where can I find it? 4Ferelden (talk) 04:16, January 19, 2013 (UTC)


 * Here's the link to the fic, though I haven't posted the first chapter yet. The link to the first chapter is right here. If you see anything that needs improvement (or would like to give some praise), don't be afraid to comment! :)

All right, I think I'll leave comments here rather than on the doc comments to make this easier. It's interesting that this is apparently a remake of your previous fic, Mass Vexations: Redemptions, but whatever. :P

First of all, I think that you underestimate the ME guns and armour. All projectiles fired from ME guns are accelerated to 1.4% of the speed of light, which is equivalent to 4197094,412 m/s. Since the body armour in the game can withstand at least a few shots from those projectiles, the Fallout weapons such as that All-American rifle would be vastly ineffective. Similarly, since upwards of 90% percent of shielding in the game is generated from body armour, Ethan's omnitool isn't going to last him more than two shots, IMHO.

Following up, I have never played Fallout, so is "firing at an insane rate" the way VATS is supposed to work in the game or one of the unlockable perks? Right now, it really doesn't sound realistic to me, particularly since most guns' firing rate is limited by their structure & not by how fast you pull the trigger. I also object to the use of grenade as it is, both because it isn't mentioned in the very beginning, when Courier checks his weapons (I guess the same could apply to stimpak, but it's not as important), and I strongly doubt that Fallout grenades will be on anywhere near the same level as ME ones, unless you're talking about nuclear ones etc., in which case you ought to mention it. Finally, are all of the Suns regular troopers or are there any Pyros, Heavies, etc. present? I think that a scene where Ethan shoots out a Pyro's tank in VATS would fit in really well and add strongly to the fight's credibility.

To finish off with technical details, your description of the Predator doesn't cease to amaze me. I've no idea as to why it would have a hammer (and a chamber for that matter) in it when it's propelled by mass acceleration. I'm also surprised how he managed to miss the thermal clip (in fact, looking back through the fic, your character never has to reload it, as if it was a ME1 gun, but there simply weren't any Predator pistols in the first game.) I would suggest double-checking with the Predator picture and description, since at the moment the gun doesn't look like itself at all.

Regarding other things, I find it somewhat hard to believe that a Courier, who encountered many mutants of all stripes throughout the game, wouldn't initially consider the aliens to be nothing more than advanced mutants (or at least the asari and/or salarians for obvious reasons.) The Pip Boy radar being able to detect mass accelerator rounds seems outright impossible, given both their extreme speed and miniscule size. Courier being able to modify the gun he's literally holding for the first time seems off as well: I know that Fallout has repair skill in it, but what is the furthest it's ever stretched to? Finally, resolving the gunfight with Cain is wrong both because it's an unnecessarily grand resolution that would require even more escalation later on, and because the gun doesn't even exist yet: the one you gain at Normandy in ME2 is literally the first of its kind.

Finally, here are the typos & gramatically clumsy sentences I could find so far, although it is possible that there are some I haven't noticed yet.

was blurry, but they (who) have adjusted enough

Then, after a series of experiments involving highly advanced quantum mechanics and precautions taken, the Courier the mistake of overloading the device, creating an explosion in the facility he was at. (creating the explosion sounds off, and so does involving the precautions taken.)

which some of them are not even human.

''they resembled too much like greyheads to his comfort. ''

orange lights lowing on their forearms.

The clerk, a human, sported short, red hair, as he wore some coveralls, turned to see him. (there are five commas here too! The flow is really off.)

He didn’t though he was dead

some of the locals were look at him in a strange way

''The human shrugged. “Don’t asked,” he answered as metal slugs passed by the crate.''

the drell complemented the Courier.

That said, I do like the general pacing and Courier's character, but it's kinda difficult to focus on that with all of the aforementioned issues, so I hope you'll forgive the overall tone of the review. Good luck! 4Ferelden (talk) 10:15, January 20, 2013 (UTC)