Cerberus Daily News

Cerberus Daily News delivers daily news about the Mass Effect universe via the Cerberus Network. In universe these news reports were released in 2185.

01/29/2010
"Federal investigators on the planet Trident have uncovered a Cerberus cell. Authorities seized the human-survivalist group’s laboratory, finding two dozen prisoners who claim that Cerberus subjected them to biotic-suppressing drugs with potentially brain damaging side effects. The captives were briefly questioned before being released back to their families. Only one Cerberus operative was captured during the rescue operation. Six others were killed and two reportedly committed suicide rather than face arrest."

01/30/2010
"More details this hour regarding the human-survivalist cell on Trident. Victims told federal investigators of a 'torture den' where Cerberus doctors drugged and forced captives to perform biotic actions to exhaustion. 'The pain in my head was unbelievable,' said a female survivor who asked to remain anonymous. 'I couldn't even feel my feet. I thought I had a stroke. A man died of a cerebral hemorrhage, and I would've gone next if they hadn't rescued us when they did.'"

01/31/2010
"The 24th Fighter Group of the Citadel Fleet received the Galactic Unit Citation today for their role in the Battle of the Citadel over two years ago. It is the highest honor awarded to a military unit and recognizes gallantry above and beyond those of the Palladium Star, awarded to all Citadel and Fifth Fleet units who fought in the battle. The 24th were the first unit to engage the geth flagship Sovereign. Unable to pierce Sovereign's kinetic barriers, the unit nevertheless gave their lives distracting the warship and the geth fleet during the Destiny Ascension's docking attempts to evacuate the Citadel Council. Only one-sixth of the fighter group survived the battle and the offices of the Council decided the most fitting honor would be one awarded to the entire unit."

02/01/2010
"The Citadel Council has produced a report of the economic progress of Council space which underwent a deep recession following the attack on the Citadel. The Citadel claims unemployment is falling amidst job growth, but the chairman of the Vol Protectorate has accused them of denying access to their statistical sources, thus allowing the Council to manipulate the data in their favor. The Council maintains that withholding sources is standard procedure in turian, asari, and salarian government and is vital to investor confidence."

02/02/2010
"The extrasolar comet CR1331 Kingu will soon pass by the hanar colony world of Belan (Undercurrent). The comet contains a volatile gas element that the system's sun will warm up, but it it not known how the reaction will alter the comet's trajectory. It is impossible to determine whether the comet will strike Belan or simply pass it by. Hanar citizens are hastily evacuating the colony while their government petitions the turian fleet to commission a dreadnought to intercept the comet."

02/03/2010
"Aish Ashland, granddaughter of energy magnate Jonah Ashland, attended her hearing this morning for red sand possession. 'I think I and a whole lot of people don't even known why it's illegal,' she said. 'Biotics have stuff like this in their nervous systems twenty-fours a day. Why is it legal for them?' Her supporters surrounded the courthouse hoping to get a glimpse of the socialite whose infamy hasn't stood in the way of her e-book deal or other engagements, such as the event this evening in which Aish's DNA will be donated to the Hollywood Bank of Fame."

02/04/2010
"Three simultaneous break-ins at the Citadel Council's Ministry of Finance have provoked outrage from the Council and cast suspicions on the Vol Protectorate, who in recent months demanded to see galactic economic data that the Council refuses to make public. 'We unilaterally condemn these actions, whether they were done in our name or not,', said Nao Clan spokesman Udra Nao. 'The fact that this data has been posted on the extranet for all to see speaks to the dissent among the people the Council represents, but theft is a crime that our species takes seriously.' The Citadel Council approved of this condemnation in statements released this morning, but they do not consider the matter closed - the asari Spectre Tela Vasir has been assigned to the case."

02/05/2010
"“A panel of experts at the Institute for Study of Astronomical Bodies have classified the comet CR1331 Kingu as harmless to the hanar colony world of Belan. They say the comet's outgassing process will alter its course and it will cleanly miss the planet. The reaction on Belan ranged from gratitude to disbelief, while the turians, who were considering sending a dreadnought to destroy the asteroid, welcomed the news and said they will send a news probe to observe the comet's historic passing.”"

02/06/2010
"Socialite Aish Ashland has had her DNA rejected by the Hollywood Bank of Fame on the grounds that it does not match the sample attributed to her health ID card. Preliminary analysis indicates the DNA she submitted was that of a close female relative. Office watercoolers galaxy-wide are buzzing with the news. Las Vegas casinos have placed odds on the identity of the sample, covering all her known relatives. The most popular is her close cousin Lili at 2:1. Additionally, odds that this is a deliberate publicity stunt are currently placed at 1.5:1."

02/07/2010
"Earth nations gathered around their vidsets today for Super Bowl CCXIX, an annual sporting and media event that culminates North-American-Union-Rules football season. The New York Giants defied expectations and took down the Beijing Dragons in a tight 24-19 game. The highlight was a 69-yard pass from krogan QB Bragus Thul. The game's top-3 hit commercials were Aldrin Labs' hilarious 'Improvise', Unithirst's 'Coffee Cola Rock 'n' Rolla', and Binary Helix's 'Not My Future, Thanks.' As for the greatest tease, it goes to the trailer for the soon-to-be summer blockbuster Nekyia Corridor, which sent sports fans to the extranet trying to find out what the heck a nekyia was."

02/08/2010
"A growing consortium of scientists have signed an extranet petition claiming that the findings of the ISAB concerning the Kingu comet are in grave error. Using telemetry from the Shining Sky orbital station, they calculate that CR1331 Kingu will come close enough to produce a dangerous meteor shower and possibly disrupt the planet gravitationally. Millions of citizens are headed for higher ground to await the alleged doomsday, blocking all traffic arteries and overwhelming spaceports.  Travel to Belan has been restricted."

02/09/2010
"The Citadel Council welcomes the planet Turvess to the galactic community today. The planet's sentient species, the raloi, launched their first space telescope into orbit last year, which detected the presence of the asari cruiser Azedes. Tomorrow, visitors from all over the galaxy will land outside six cities on Turvess, bearing welcome wishes and gifts for the raloi. Tickets for the Council's sponsored ships have been sold out for months, and due to disease concerns, no other ships are legally allowed planetfall at that time. A comm buoy near Turvess will be dedicated to sending welcome messages to the planet for twenty galactic standard hours."

02/10/2010
"The Kingu comet has hurtled past the hanar colony world Belan, and its disruption has been devastating. Though the main body of the comet did not strike the surface of the planet, the comet, at one-quarter the size of Belan's moon, disrupted tides all over the planet with its gravity. Tsunamis have ravaged coastal cities all over the globe, breaking levees, flooding urban centers, and drowning non-hanar citizens. The Citadel Council has declared the entire planet of Belan a disaster zone, and estimates of the full credit value of the damage will take months."

02/11/2010
"The Kingu comet's wake of destruction continues to dominate the news cycle. New video shows meteor showers caused by hot gasses breaking giant chunks of ice off the comet. No population centers were struck by the impacts, which left craters up to 180m in diameter. Meanwhile, the Intergalactic Red Cross, the turian Lifebearer Brigade, the hanar organization Healing Waters, and hundreds of other charities galaxy-wide have pledged their support to housing and feeding the uncountable refugees of the planet."

02/12/2010
"Images coming out of the hanar colony world Belan are brutal. Though one might think an aquatic species such as the hanar would survive flooding, tsunamis more than fifteen meters high crushed many hanar living close to the coasts. Collapsing buildings and broken power lines have also caused casualties. Pest-driven diseases plague the refugee camps and insects and mold spores have infested abandoned neighborhoods. Reconstruction efforts have begun in some cities, beginning with the all-important drainage of areas still under water. Spaceport traffic is still jammed as millions of citizens attempt to return to their homes."

02/13/2010
"The verdict is in and the news is stunning. Aish Ashland attempted to switch her own DNA at the Hollywood Bank of Fame with those of her estranged fraternal twin Mina. The socialite said in interviews today that this was her way of apologizing to Mina for a lifetime of stealing her boyfriends and tormenting her. 'My twin sister has always been the best of our family,' Aish said, 'and I knew the world didn't need more Aishes. It needed more Minas, so I substituted a cheek swab of hers instead of my own.' The odds placed on Mina at gambling casinos came in at 42:1, the highest of any of her female relatives. Mina Ashland could not be reached for comment."

02/14/2010
"Many human planets and colonies celebrate St. Valentine's Day today, a holiday themed around romantic love and the greeting card industry. Prospective or established mating partners exchange love notes with one another, and some add gifts of cut flowers, jewelry, or sugary confections in the hopes of receiving sexual favors. Industry insiders estimate over 2 billion Valentine messages will be sent this year on Earth and an additional 5 billion throughout the human colonies. The holiday is rapidly spreading among the asari and volus, who embrace its unusual mix of commerce and reproduction."

02/15/2010
"The Citadel Council delegation to the newly welcomed planet Turvess ejected its krogan representatives today after the introduction of a krogan sport called kowla devolved into a brawl that left three dead and fourteen injured. The krogan representatives denounced the ejection, saying that kowla was successfully introduced to Turvess 'with its traditions fully intact,' and that there was no need to overreact. A poll taken among the Turvess indicated that only 21% opposed the move to remove the krogan from the remainder of the ceremonies."