User blog comment:Sqarkplugz/Mass Effect - Neurosis (2)/@comment-2228120-20121111210036

Finally got to you :-) A good exposition: soldiers on their task, a seeming of normal action, with no foreshadowing of the tragedy to those involved, while the readers can already sense things amiss. A little nitpicking: you need a punctuation mark before the quotes when you insert a clause, and don't use a capital letter when you continue - instead of "Clear" Nera called out, "Wait…" you need "Clear," Nera called out, "wait..."